 |
50
Ways
to Love Your Mother Jane
Monachelli, M.A., L.P.C. Gift Ideas for Aging Parents and Others When All They Need is Love |
|||||
| [MEDIA] | ||||||
|
HOME
ABOUT THE AUTHOR MEDIA
ORDER |
||||||
JANE MONACHELLI’S
NEW BOOK
|
||||||
 ...a time of goodbyes...and helloes. |
||||||
|
Gift Ideas
for Aging Parents and Others When All They Need Is Love
“Perfect ideas for scaled-down living
spaces.” For
people with aging parents, friends or other family members, this is a
fantastic
|
||||||
Wide Audience Appeal
Jane’s book
covers a host of gift suggestions and ideas that appeal to a wide
audience, for instance – Baby
Boomers with aging parents, professional Caregivers who work with
the elderly, and others interested in the dynamics of aging, the family
and elder care. To The Media,
Welcome to 50
Ways to Love Your Mother virtual press room. Here you can read book
excerpts, book endorsements, an interview
or a press
release about Jane Monachelli, her book and her upcoming events. You
can also download photographs, download a media kit or
contact her publicist to schedule an interview. To Those Seeking a Speaker or
Demonstration
Jane Monachelli
will be happy to speak about 50 Ways to Love Your Mother or give a demonstration of her favorite easy-to-assemble gift ideas. She
is a dynamic, engaging speaker. |
||||||
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
 Outings make wonderful gifts! |
|
|||||
|
||||||
|
"My 80 year old mother lives with me. As a
caregiver, I find many of these ideas to be helpful and EASY. I use and
will buy this sweet book for friends when they face this dilemma that
comes to so many of us." |
||||||
|
|
|
|||||
|
INTERVIEW
WITH JANE MONACHELLI I have been in practice as a
professional counselor here in Arizona for 25 years. I specialize in
grief and loss and also love to work with couples and do relationship
therapy. I hold a masters degree and am licensed by the Arizona Board of
Behavioral Health. |
||||||
|
Who is it for? This book is a wonderful gift guide for adult children of aging parents. As Baby Boomers approach their fifties and sixties, it’s chiefly their parents who are entering care centers and such. With time at a premium these days, isn’t it great that I’ve done the footwork for them and come up with some great ideas and resources they can use to stay close to their parents – even when they live at a distance? Also, 50 Ways to Love Your Mother can be very helpful to friends of the elderly who want to do thoughtful things for them and don’t have time to research or come up with clever ideas. Or it can even be used as a recommended resource by professional caregivers for families of those in their care. Many of us yearn for ways to touch the people we care about when they need emotional support. Therefore, I also see the book being used as a thoughtful gesture for a friend who has a parent going into a care center or other scaled-down living arrangement. As they begin this journey with their parent, you are saying “I am thinking of you and I care about this tough time in your life.” I have also added two pages of bibliography for anyone who wants to learn more about caring for the aging. You can see that it is an all-around great resource for a variety of people. Even grandkids would find some of the ideas fun to do for grandma or grandpa. |
||||||
|
A corsage & cake...
...for Mother's Day. |
How is it different from the hundreds of other ‘gift idea’ books
out there? I think what makes this gift idea book different from others is the fact that the gifts are specifically suited for the aged who are living in small spaces. What do you get for people who don’t need more things? That’s a tough question that I’ve answered fifty times in my book. I also provide company names, phone numbers and websites, which makes this something of a directory as well. What makes you an expert on this subject? Four important things that I bring to this book are: 1) My professional counseling background, through which I have developed an immense understanding of the difficulty many families and individuals go through when a parent must move into a care center or the like. Some of the ideas in the book were developed to help bring healing to families during those times. 2) My experience with my own elderly relatives – As a primary gift giver to my aging family, readers have the benefit of my fifteen-year track record of successes and failures in finding just the right gifts or mementos for some very fussy people. 3) My well-developed sense of Southern graciousness. Being raised in the South, I am comfortable with and have mastered the art of gift giving. It is part of my culture and upbringing to come up with a thoughtful gift for just about any occasion. And, 4) my passion for bargain shopping. As a shopper, I believe I can claim the high ground... I use a “90% rule” to guide me in my shopping adventures. That means if it isn’t 90% off, forget it! I believe I have built-in radar when it comes to the best bargain shopping in the metro Phoenix area. |
|||||
|
As a family counselor and a grief and loss counselor, what kinds of family dynamics come into play when a parent must move from an independent to a dependent lifestyle? I’m sure you’ve heard that weddings and funerals bring out the best and/or the worst in families. Well, I believe we must add moving mom and dad to a care center—or into a similar situation—to that list. It is a very complex time when many decisions must be made. If you have differences amongst siblings as to how finances and caretaking should be handled, you will have some incredible challenges ahead. Whoever we are, we seem to get more like that when we come up against these situations. That can sure make for an interesting time with lots of bumps! |
||||||
|
How does it commonly impact an aging person who must move from the independence of their own home into the dependent life of a care center? This can often be an overwhelming time for a person who has managed to take care of themselves all of their lives. They are often unprepared for the sense of loss and grieving they experience. It is a time when family support is very much needed. Family members are often going through their own grieving process—and their losses can impact them hard—leaving them to feel almost orphaned as they shift from a child’s role to that of making the hard decisions and carrying the major responsibilities. They are now the “parent,” when before they were the ones being nurtured and cared for (or at least they are able to keep the illusion of this going until mom and dad’s move jerks that away from them). This is why I have included a two page bibliography in my book listing resources on caring for the elderly. It is important for adult children to learn as much as they can about how to handle this time of their lives and of their parents’ lives. |
 Enjoying the new garden... |
|||||
|
How can this book make a difference for those in care centers? For their families? For their caregivers? For other residents? My book can help a lot on many different levels. It can provide the relatives of care center residents with dozens of ways to help them stay close to their loved ones. Many adult children experience a sense of regret at having to place their parents in nursing care or assisted living situations. Implementing the ideas in the book can certainly help lessen that feeling. For those in care, having their families show them how much they still matter is everything. It brightens their days, gives them things to talk about with the other residents and boosts their self esteem. One thing the book points out is to make sure that you occasionally send items that can be shared. It opens the door to socializing, which is something many elderly relatives truly need to keep their lives full and active. Caregivers will benefit from the book as well. They can use the resources in the back of the book to better educate themselves, or they can even put it on the recommended reading list for families of their residents. A care center or assisted living facility may also find that my book makes a great premium gift to show appreciation to the families of residents or potential residents. What if we don’t have a great relationship with our aging parents? Will this book help us anyway? You know, I believe that any time in life is a good time to heal. If you have always had a difficult relationship with your parent, you will be amazed at how good you both will feel as the result of a kind or thoughtful gesture. When you commit yourself to loving and thoughtful gestures it can heal some of the strain between an adult child and his or her parent. Even if the kindness doesn’t thaw out the strain, there is much to be said for having done your part well. Some of the deepest hurts I witness in my role as therapist come from hurts that exist between parents and adult children. Many of us feel more grounded if we can keep the commandment to “Honor thy Father and Mother.” |
||||||
|
Visiting.....
...the best gift of all! |
Do you have any interesting anecdotes about gifts you gave that
didn’t exactly hit the mark? One that comes to mind was the space bag. This is a device that one uses for storage of items you will not need often. The idea is to put the things in the bag and then draw out the air with the reverse suction on the vacuum cleaner and then the storage takes up much less room. It all sounds so reasonable and easy. However my mother could not handle this project by herself. We worked with it together when I was visiting and all we accomplished was a good laugh. We had it all going on with the vacuum cleaner and ended up no where. I am sure the astronauts can handle it, but then they are chosen for exceptional brains and dexterity. Another gift that did not turn out well was the big bed pillow that I thought would give her added comfort in bed. It turned out to be too heavy for my mother to move up and down or on and off the bed and it took up too much room either on the bed or on the floor. I learned that her hands and wrists had become much more fragile as she aged and took that into account when choosing gifts for her. |
|||||
|
What cautions or suggestions do you have for people who want to give
gifts to parents in a care center? It is wise to be very careful about scents if your loved one still has an intact sense of smell. If you choose a scent they dislike, it can be very annoying to them. Another gift to be wary about are candles. Many serious accidents and even some deaths happen every year due to candles being misused by the elderly. Also it is not wise to buy a pet as a gift for an elder unless you are very sure they want this gift and the situation they are in can handle all that goes with owning a pet. For instance, the delicate skin that often accompanies aging can be easily infected by the playful biting of a young kitten or puppy. What are your thoughts about ‘gifting’ in general? I am very passionate about gifting. I love the moment when a gift hits the bulls-eye with the person you are gifting. I love to think about what would be just the right thing to bring delight to each person. I think in terms of gifting everywhere I am, even in the grocery store or on a hike (the right rock or flower can be a sweet gift for some person in your life. One of my friends calls it “bringing sunshine.” What are your top three favorite gift ideas from your book? A year of fruit – the ‘lite’ version from Harry and David Cashmere socks Scrapbooks Will there be more books? I hope there will be several more. I would like to write another volume in this area and to also do creative writing including fiction and memoir. |
||||||
Click here to order your copies of
50 Ways to Love Your Mother
HELPING HOUSE BOOKS 17 E. ORANGE DRIVE PHOENIX, AZ 85012 (602) 234-0907 |
||||||
|
HOME
ABOUT THE AUTHOR MEDIA
ORDER
|
||||||
|
Ph:
602-234-0907
Fx: 602-926-8800
Phoenix, Arizona 85012
info@50waystolove.com
|
||||||
