50 Ways to Love Your Mother by Jane Monachelli

50 Ways to Love Your Mother Jane Monachelli, M.A., L.P.C.

Gift Ideas for Aging Parents and Others When All They Need is Love

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Jane Monachelli's New Book

Jane Monachelli, M.A., L.P.C.

Jane became something of a catalog and online gift shopping expert after her mother moved to a care center many miles away. As she got more and more proficient at finding the perfect gifts, she frequently shopped for friends and other family members too. Frankly, she carries a list in her purse, wherever she goes, that itemizes sizes and the likes and dislikes of those close to her. When she finds a sale, there’s always someone to buy for.

Over time, Jane’s friends began to seek her advice on gift ideas for their own families. They also encouraged her to put together a book to share these ideas with everyone. Jane then wrote 50 Ways to Love Your Mother. She considers it a tribute to her mother, who passed away in 2002.

“As my mother entered her 'golden years,' I lived far away from her. She was in Mississippi, and I was in Arizona. Yet I longed to help her to feel loved and special, especially because a person’s journey from independence to loss and limits is often a rough one.

Frustration was my companion as I struggled to think of lovely things that would help her know she was thought of and cared about each day. She had very little room in the care center she’d moved into, and each change in her situation brought about less physical space and storage. She didn’t need any more things; in fact she always seemed to need to be getting rid of things. This situation only seemed to underscore the growing list of losses.

Yet ideas started coming together in my mind as the journey progressed. As I helped her visit and interview for the care center where she would spend her last five years, I noticed that residents who got a lot of attention from their families seemed to receive special status and prestige. My mother needed and deserved such attention and respect. Fortunately, she had her son and his wife, and her precious twin granddaughters and grandson nearby, as they impacted her life with visits and calls and gatherings that brought obvious joy to her days. She was blessed with many good friends who were loyal and attentive. She also continued to attend and be involved in her church, which was a source of strength and renewal.

In spite of these blessings, there were still lonely days and times when she seemed to long for affirmation that she mattered. My project began as a way to let her know that she was important and loved at this hard stage of her life.”

Jane Monachelli is an Arizona Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in grief counseling and relationship and couples therapy. She has had a private practice in the Phoenix area for 25 years.

A member of the American Counseling Association, the American Mental Health Association, the Arizona Mental Health Counselors Association and the Arizona Counselors Association, Jane also provides consulting services for Intergroup of Arizona, Patients Choice, Syntex, and project Headstart. Jane has provided services for the John C. Casey Foundation and is involved with the Wellness Foundation, a charitable organization that offers free services to single mothers. She is a trained member of the mental health disaster team for the American Red Cross and was involved in work with the Katrina survivors.

Jane is a popular speaker and has appeared on radio and TV, covering subjects such as “Women and Depression,” “Codependency and Recovery,” “Samaritan Presents: Women in Mid-life” and “Holidays and Rituals—Self Esteem.”

She lives in Phoenix, Arizona, with her husband, Ron, where she delights in her role as grandmother.

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